


In A World Of Uncertainty

by toosxeforurshit



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Adopted!Danny, F/F, Lawdorf, Werewolf!Danny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-09 02:02:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3232133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toosxeforurshit/pseuds/toosxeforurshit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title taken from "Bridges" by Rise Against</p><p>A Lawdorf High School AU in which Danny is a jock, Betty is on student council, and everything is fucked up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. we made a pact and never gave up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny discovers that she’s failing classes and is unable to play until she gets her grades into passing range. Thankfully, Laura’s friend, Betty, is available for tutoring her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: biphobic comments, ableist slurs

The breath shoots out of Danny’s lungs as she falls on her back, the ball somehow still firmly in her grip. She takes a moment for the oxygen to pick up its rhythm once more before pushing at the guy keeping her on her back. “Get off me, Sanders,” she groans, and she’s quickly relieved of the 200-something pounds of teenager on top of her. She’s quickly on her feet again and twists her torso slightly to stretch out her back a little more. She jogs back to her place on the line, tossing the ball to Coach House as she passes him.

“You good, Psycho?” Danny rolls her eyes as the inescapable question pours from her best friend’s mouth.

“I don’t need you asking every time I’m down if I’m okay, dumbass.” Danny smiles to herself as a frown takes its place on Kirsch’s face. She may be a girl, but she’s not fragile. She can handle anyone on the team. That includes, and is _definitely_ not limited to, Jacob Sanders.

“Just thought I’d ask,” he grumbles. Danny shoves his shoulder as she passes by him to her place. A smile replaces the frown and he calls for the snap.

**///**

 

Danny likes being the only girl on the football team. She also hates it. But she doesn’t hate not having to deal with the guys and their stampede into the locker room. It makes it easier for her to just walk on her own, dawdling on her way up the stairs in the stadium.

At the top of the stairs, however, Coach stops her. It’s not exactly unusual. She asks him for feedback and she usually receives it graciously, whether it be good or bad.

“What’s up, Coach?” she asks, running a hand through her hair. It’s really gross today. Ew. She reminds herself to shower when she gets into the locker room.

“Not your grades, Lawrence.” Danny laughs lightly, still slightly winded, but stops as she sees the look on his face.

“But I can still play, right?” she asks, her hand going to her arm as it always does when she feels the stress starting to build up. She bites her lip as House shakes his head.

“Not if you’re not passing by next Saturday’s game.” A hand claps her shoulder. “We’re going to need you, kid. God knows Wright can’t catch like you do,” he adds with a smile. “Go on. Change and head home. Do some homework tonight, yeah?” Danny offers a small smile before heading up the rest of the stairs to change.

Danny can’t help but freak out a little bit. She knows exactly what class she’s failing. History has never been a strong subject for her and now it’s going to be the cause of her not playing next weekend. She’s got to do something about it. Football’s almost more important to her than her papá. Almost.

Pulling on her Letterman’s jacket as she leaves the locker room, Danny convinces herself that, for the moment, breathing is the best thing she can do. She’ll knock out her homework as soon as she gets home.

**///**

 

Fifteen minutes into her Revolutionary War worksheet, Danny calls Laura and asks her over.

**///**

 

As it usually does, their study session quickly turns into kissing. As it usually does, the kissing leads to the textbooks (carefully; the fines for damaged books are unreasonably expensive and neither of them likes the idea of paying for a book they don’t even enjoy in the slightest) on the floor and Laura on top of Danny. As it usually does, Laura on top of Danny leads to hands wandering under shirts and over skin and breathless gasps for air.

Unfortunately, Laura pulls away after they’ve only been kissing for twenty minutes. Danny can’t help the frown that forms on her face. Laura simply smiles and sits up.

“Danny,” she sighs. “You’ve gotta do your homework.”

“Maybe I wanna do _you_ instead,” Danny grumbles. Laura laughs quietly and kisses her cheek.

“You need to get into passing range. We’ve only been in school for three weeks. You can’t start the year like this.”

“I know, I know.” Danny sighs and grabs her book from the floor as Laura moves off her lap. Laura is soon replaced with a rather hefty American History textbook. It’s not nearly as pleasant as her small girlfriend.

“Come on, Danny. You know these dates.”

“They’re meaningless numbers.”

“Yet you can somehow understand what goes on on that field?”

“Shut up," Danny mumbles with a smile. Laura’s wearing a smile, too.

**///**

 

Danny is sure to tell Laura to text her when she gets home. It’s not a long walk, but Danny is always worried about her. Laura doesn’t let her walk her home (something about independence and being capable of defending herself should anything happen) and Danny respects that. It doesn’t stop her worrying about her tiny girlfriend, though. Thankfully, Laura always lets her know when she’s back home.

 **Laura <3 (10:37 pm)** _Homework_

**Danny <3 (10:37 pm) ** _Are you home yet?_

**Laura <3 (10:38 pm) ** _I’m home._

**Danny <3 (10:38 pm) ** _Sigh. Homework._

**Laura <3 (10:39 pm)** _You only had twelve left when I left. You’re almost done._

 **Danny <3 (10:41 pm)** _I know I know_

 **Laura <3 (10:43 pm)** _I’ve gotta get ready for bed. I’ll see you in the morning._

 **Danny <3 (10:44 pm)** _In the morning. I love you._

 **Laura <3 (10:47 pm)** _I love you too. Do your homework. <3_

**Danny <3 (10:48 pm) ** _No. <3_

**///**

 

Danny finishes all but two of the questions on her worksheet.

**///**

 

“What about a tutor?”

“I don’t think so, Laura. I don’t have enough extra cash lying around for that, remember?”

Danny always sits with Laura and her friends at lunch. She gets enough of most of the football team at practice and doesn’t really like the girls on the basketball team, either. Danny likes Laura and she likes Laura’s friends, so she sits with them. Kirsch likes to sit with them, too, so Danny usually ends up sitting between her best friend and her girlfriend.

“Danny, come on! You need the grade! How else are we going to win even _one_ game?”

“Wow. You know exactly where my heart lies.”

“She’s got a point,” Kirsch adds. “You’re one of like, two good receivers we’ve got.” Danny rolls her eyes and looks down at her lunch. “Not that that should be your only concern!” he adds quickly.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve got it.”

“I could help.” Danny looks up from her extremely dry burger to look across the table at a blonde girl whose name she’s never been able to remember. She’s pretty, that’s for sure. The cross on her neck is a little off-putting, of course. Not that it really matters. Danny has Laura.

That doesn’t mean she can’t appreciate the view.

“Really, Betty? You would?”

Betty. That’s the name.

Betty shrugs and offers a smile, picking at her sandwich. “I don’t see why not,” she says.

“I can’t afford a tutor,” Danny pipes up, shooting a look at Laura. She doesn’t need her girlfriend making decisions for her.

“That’s alright. I don’t need the money. I’d just be happy to help you out.” Danny smiles a little bit more as Betty continues. As long as she’s not paying for the tutor, she’s perfectly fine.

“Perfect! That’s great!” Laura exclaims before Danny can reply. Why is Laura more excited about this than Danny is? It isn’t _her_ grades on the line. Danny looks pointedly at Laura once more before turning back to Betty.

“I’d be good with that.” She pulls out her phone. “What’s your number?”

**///**

 

After just a few texts, Danny and Betty agree to meet up after football practice on Wednesday. It’s a good thing it’s still just Tuesday; Danny didn’t get as much kissing in as she’d have liked to the night before.

Laura’s sitting in Danny’s lap once more, kissing her softly and holding onto her shoulders tightly. Danny slides her hands under the back of Laura’s shirt, trying to deepen the kiss, but Laura stops her hands. Danny groans, slightly frustrated.

“Shhhh,” Laura whispers, kissing along Danny’s jaw.

“I’d rather not,” Danny mumbles. Laura laughs softly and pushes on her shoulders gently. Danny smiles and lays back, pulling Laura back on top of her and kissing her once more.

Danny’s hand is somewhere in Laura’s shirt and Laura’s hand is sneaking into Danny’s pants when they hear a knock on the door. The two sit up quickly, hands running through their hair to fix it.

“Uh, come in!” Danny chokes out. She clears her throat and lifts Laura from her lap. Danny’s father pokes his head into the room, a hand over his eyes.

“Are clothes on?” he asks with a smile. Danny and Laura turn red simultaneously and Laura pulls on her jacket.

“Yes, Papá!” He laughs and steps into the room.

“Is Laura staying for dinner tonight?” he asks. Laura looks over at Danny for a moment before turning to Mr. Lawrence.

“Er, no, I’ve gotta head home, actually.” She gets up to gather her books into her bag.

“Alright. Feel free to stay whenever, Laura.”

“Of course.” She smiles and Mr. Lawrence leaves. Danny frowns slightly.

“You okay?” Danny asks. “You usually stay…”

“I’m fine, I’m fine. I just… I want to let you hang out with your family tonight. Do your homework. All that kind of thing.”

“Are you done obsessing over _my_ homework yet?” Laura frowns and looks up at Danny.

“What do you mean?” she asks.

“You know what I mean. You keep getting on me about this. I’ve got it covered. I’m meeting with Betty tomorrow. Leave it alone, Laura.”

Laura bites her lip. “Sorry,” she mumbles, looking away as she grabs her bag and starts across the room. Danny gets up to grab onto her wrist.

“Not gonna say goodbye?” Laura sighs and turns around.

“I’m sorry,” she says quietly.

“Let me walk you to the door,” Danny says. Laura nods and Danny takes her hand and walks her outside.

With a soft kiss, Laura sets off, assuring Danny she’ll let her know when she gets home.

When Danny gets back up to her room, she knows she can’t focus on her homework and ends up playing with her basketball on the bed.

She loves Laura. She does. And she knows Laura loves her, too. But it’s getting a little less easy to love her now. She misses that. She misses when it was easy.

The buzzing of her phone pulls Danny out of her thoughts. It’s Laura telling her she’s home. Danny sends her a quick “love you” before plugging in her phone and heading downstairs for dinner.

**///**

 

Danny’s always loved her family. She doesn’t really think it odd. She knows it’s not a very normal kind of family, but it’s hers and it’s perfect.

She’d never expected she’d have such an easy time explaining it to Betty, though.

Betty quickly picked up that Hugo and River Lawrence had adopted Danny when she was two. The moment she was told that River preferred they/them pronouns, she picked up on that, too. It may be that she knows LaFontaine, but no matter the reason, she’s really good about it. Danny is starting to not mind the cross so much.

After (finally) escaping Danny’s parents and grabbing a couple of apples, Danny leads Betty up to her bedroom. She’s never realized how small her room is. She isn’t used to having another tall person around. Laura and her friends are rather small in comparison to Danny and she’d never let any of the football team in her house.

“Don’t hit your head,” Danny jokes as she and Betty cross through the doorway. Betty laughs lightly and sits on the edge of Danny’s bed.

“Where do we need to start?” she asks, pulling out a new notebook and looking up at Danny.

“I have no idea,” she replies, sighing and sitting on the bed.

“Well…” Betty begins. “What’re you working on in class right now?” Danny looks through her bag and pulls out a worksheet and hands it over to Betty. She looks over it for a moment before smiling. “Okay, you’ve got this. Here, I’ll help you.”

**///**

 

Betty leaves not long after dinner. The Lawrences had convinced her to stay and eat despite her protests. The four had a peaceful meal, speaking only in comfortable places. Though it was a relatively quiet dinner in the Lawrence house, it was never uncomfortable for one moment. Danny likes that about her parents; they know how to read an atmosphere.

As soon as the door is closed, however, her parents pouce.

“Is Betty your new girlfriend?” River asks. Danny groans loudly.

“I’m still with Laura, you guys. Betty’s tutoring me. I’m going to get ready for bed.” Danny goes upstairs, trying to ignore the snickering coming from her folks.

**///**

 

Thanks to Betty, Danny only misses one point on her worksheet. She thanks her at lunch.

“Don’t worry about it,” Betty says with a smile. “If you keep this up, though, you’ll be at that game next weekend.”

“I’m aware,” Danny says. She keeps smiling. She’s not sure why she’s in such a good mood. Maybe it’s just the idea of her grade getting back up.

“Way to go, Lawrence,” Kirsch says happily. A loud clap echoes through the cafeteria as they exchange a rather painful high-five which leaves the two shaking their hands, smiling brightly.

“I’m proud of you, babe,” Laura says as she plants a kiss on Danny’s cheek. “Are we on for tonight?”

“Betty’s coming to help me again, I think.” Danny looks back up to Betty. “We’re still on for that, right?”

“Of course,” Betty answers. “You’ve got more homework, don’t you?”

“She’s always got homework,” Laura says. “She just doesn’t usually do it all.” Danny laughs and hits Laura’s shoulder gently. Laura pouts and Danny places a soft kiss on her lips before standing with her tray.

“I’m gonna get going. I’ll see you later,” she says. Kirsch gets up as well.

“Where are you going?” Danny hears Laura ask him.

“Can’t a guy go take a piss?” Danny smiles at his response and walks out of the cafeteria, bag slung over her shoulder on her way to wander through the halls.

**///**

 

“You guys are having issues, aren’t you?” Kirsch asks casually, throwing the ball to Danny again.

“Is nothing private anymore?” she groans, tossing it back. Warming up isn’t her favorite thing in the world. It’s better with Kirsch usually, though. The other guys either say too much or say nothing at all.

“You guys are bickering at the table now. That’s not really private, Psycho.” The look Danny gives him causes him to backpedal a little bit. “I mean, uh, Lawrence?”

“At least you’re getting better about it.” She grunts a little as she catches the ball once more. “Go a little easy on that, would you?”

“Sorry,” he says with a small smile, catching the toss again. “But really. What’s going on with you and Laura?”

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“Of course I’m gonna worry about it, dumbass.” Danny smiles and easily catches his next throw.

“That sucks for you,” she laughs. She hears Coach blow the whistle and jogs over to the big “S” in the center of the field. “Come on, asshole.”

The rest of practice goes smoothly. Kirsch doesn’t fuck up too badly, which makes Danny a little sad because she really likes teasing, but she’s glad to have good passes to catch for once. Thankfully, Kirsch doesn’t ask her about Laura again, but she is sure to text him before she leaves the parking lot.

 **Danny (5:46 pm)** _Thanks for caring._

 **Danny (5:46 pm)** _Pain in the ass._

**///**

 

Betty is a very encouraging tutor. Well, she’s not exactly a _tutor._ She’s just helping Danny pass her history class is all. Whatever you call her, Betty is helpful and doesn’t say anything that could possibly discourage Danny, unlike Laura in most cases.

She has to keep reminding herself not to think poorly of Laura. She’s her girlfriend and she helps as best she can.

At least Betty doesn’t get frustrated when she doesn’t remember when the Articles of Confederation was decided to be detrimental.

“Danny? Are you okay?” Danny snaps her head up, pulling herself away from her thoughts.

“What? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I’m fine.” She runs a hand through her hair, taking a breath.

“Do you want to take a break? We _have_ been at this for a little while,” Betty offers. Danny nods quickly.

“Yeah, um, that’s a good idea.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Danny smiles a little bit at Betty’s concerned expression. She’s worried. That’s kind of nice.

“I’m fine. Really. Don’t worry about it,” Danny tells her. “Uh, what should we do?”

“I dunno. We could just talk or something if you want to? I don’t really know you too well.”

“That’s an idea.” Danny shifts so her legs can dangle off the bed. Well, they don’t really dangle. Her feet hit the floor from where she sits. Betty pulls her legs up to sit cross-legged. The papers are moved to one end of the bed and Danny pulls down the sleeves of her sweatshirt. It’s still warm outside, but she feels better with the sleeves down. It’s always been one of those things for her. She’s not sure where she picked it up.

“Tell me about yourself,” Betty says. Danny’s thoughts about her sweatshirt habits are interrupted by Betty’s voice and thinks for a moment before responding.

“What do you want to know?” she asks.

“Just about you, I guess.”

“I play football.”

“Everyone already knows that, Danny,” Betty says with a small laugh. “You’re the girl on the football team. Even my parents know that.” Danny laughs quietly. “I wanna know about _you_ ,” she adds, lightly pushing on Danny’s arm. Danny smiles a bit.

“That’s usually the one that makes it so I don’t get more questions, really.”

“Not with me. Doesn’t work. Tell me about who you are.”

 _Who I am. Who am I?_ she wonders. She knows who she is. Kind of. She knows her name. Her Social Security Card is around here somewhere. She’s got her Washington State Driver’s License in her wallet.

But who is she really?

“Danny?”

Danny needs to stop doing that, probably.

“I’m okay,” she says. “Just thinking.”

“It’s not really a very loaded question, Danny.” Danny looks up at Betty again. She’s got that concerned face going again. It’s kind of cute. Until her eyes reach the cross again. Then it’s gone.

“Kind of is.”

“I didn’t mean to give you some existential crisis or something,” Betty jokes. “Really, are you okay?” Danny takes a moment before nodding, small smile on her face.

“Yeah. I’m okay,” she says. Betty smiles again. “Can we go back to homework or something now?” Danny asks. Betty laughs.

“I never thought I’d hear those words. _Especially_ not from you.”

“Shut up.”

“Never.”

**///**

 

After a week of Betty’s “tutoring,” Danny and Betty settle on studying three nights a week; Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. It’s decided that Tuesday will be Danny’s day for doing work on her own and Friday and the rest of the weekend are to be used for socializing and finishing any other homework she’s got. It’s a really good plan. The only one not on board with it is Laura.

It’s hard for Danny to tell what Laura really thinks sometimes. It’s usually easy. But now she keeps going between wanting Danny to only do her homework and wanting Danny to spend all her time with her.

“It just feels like you’re spending more time with Betty than you are with me,” Laura says. They’re sitting on Danny’s bed and Laura is frustrating Danny way more than she usually is.

“Are you jealous?” Danny asks.

“Why would I be jealous? I’m not jealous!” Laura replies defensively.

“That’s what I’m wondering! There’s no reason to be jealous! And your friend is _definitely_ straight!”

“So I should be concerned if she wasn’t straight?”

“That isn’t what I said!”

“Sure sounded like it!”

They’ve been bickering all evening and it hasn’t gotten any better. What a way to spend a Friday night.

Danny runs her hand through her hair. “Why the hell are you so defensive anyway? It’s not like I’d leave you for anyone! You know that!”

“It isn’t like I want to keep an eye on you whenever you talk to someone! How am I supposed to know you won’t go? You’ve got twice the chances I do!”

“Are you fucking _kidding me_ , Laura?”

Laura’s face pales as she realizes what came out of her mouth moments ago. “Danny, I didn’t mean that,” she says quietly. Danny stands taller.

“Like _hell_ you didn’t!”

Danny isn’t even sure why they’re fighting anymore.

She’s not even sure why they’ve been together for the past year.

And she suddenly realizes that this won’t last much longer.

**///**

 

Whatever has held the two together for this long, it’s not strong enough.

Danny is glad that her parents aren’t home. She doesn’t need them asking about what happened. She loves them, but she _really_ doesn’t want to talk about this. She doesn’t even want to think about it. That doesn’t stop her from thinking about it, though, which is unfortunate.

She hears her phone ringing from on top of her dresser but she ignores it. She needs some time to be alone tonight. Probably for the whole weekend. Who knows?

Danny buries her face in the pillows, trying not to cry. She doesn’t want to cry. She hates crying. It’s weak. She’s weak. She doesn’t want to go back to that place. That place scares her every day.

Not a minute after the phone stops ringing, it’s ringing again. “Shoot To Thrill” blares from the device and Danny groans. Whoever it is, they’re not going away. She’s not sure who it is; “Shoot To Thrill” is the default she’s got her phone set on. She’s got her favorites set for different people anyway.

She sighs and gets up, pulling her phone off the charger. “Hello?” she chokes out. Her voice sounds…wrong. Not like her. She clears her throat and tries again. “Uh, hello.” She realizes she didn’t even check to see who was calling. She waits for the mystery person to respond.

“Uh, hey, Danny. You okay?” Betty. Of course. Danny lets out a breath and slides a hand into her hair, holding it tightly.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Um, did you need something?”

“Just… I was a little worried about you.”

“Fuck. Did you talk to Laura?” There’s a pause.

“Yeah.” Betty’s voice is quiet now. Like she’s ashamed. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have called. It’s not any of my concern.”

“No, you’re fine. It’s fine.”

“You’re not.”

“Can we not right now? I just… I need some time by myself right now I think.” She’s quiet as she speaks. She feels hot tears starting to form. She does _not_ want to cry right now. Not ever. Especially not on the phone with someone she hardly knows.

“Danny?”

“What?” Another pause.

“Take care of yourself.” Danny smiles faintly.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “I’ll see you Monday?”

“Monday.”

Danny hangs up and puts her phone back on the charger. She opens her closet, turning on the stereo as loud as she can stand and goes to lay down again as she hears the bells starting from the speakers. Her face buried in her pillow, she allows the chords of “Hell’s Bells” to drown out her screaming. She’s allowed to be upset and she’s _definitely_ allowed to sing as loud as she can.

It takes until she’s made it through four albums that her father comes upstairs to tell her to turn off the music. Danny agrees and turns off the stereo before taking her phone off the charger, plugging in her headphones, and turning up the music until it hurts her ears. She falls asleep sometime around three in the morning, telling herself that she’ll be just fine.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by Parker (pattvwalters)  
> In A World Of Uncertainty updates on Saturday nights  
> Track #lawdorf hsau for discussion and updates on Tumblr  
> Feel free to comment and stop in my inbox if you've got any questions!


	2. something's off inside of myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny's hurting a lot after the breakup. Luckily, Kirsch and Betty are intent on helping her feel better.

Saturday proves to be Danny’s worst game she’s ever played. She only catches seven of the nine passes directed to her (she doesn’t count the shitty passes; she only blames herself for fucking up). She goes down more often than she likes and she keeps getting distracted. Just when she thinks she’ll be okay, Laura pops into her head again. She hardly got any sleep. She’s exhausted. Her head hurts. She just wants to go home. At least they win.

On the bus back to school, Danny sits quietly, staring out the window with  _Black Ice_ pounding in her ears. Kirsch is talking excitedly beside her to some of the guys. They laugh a lot. The whole bus is loud. Danny’s music is loud. Her mind won’t shut off. She doesn’t want to do anything anymore.

Danny jumps as she feels Kirsch nudging her arm. She looks up at him and takes her headphones out, now bombarded by the sound of far too many high school boys. Kirsch’s face is full of concern and she just knows what’s about to come out of his mouth.

“You okay?” he asks. Danny bites her lip. In the last 24 hours, she’s been asked this at least eight times. Each time, she’s said “yes.” But with Kirsch looking at her like that and the pain starting behind her eyes once more, she looks down and shakes her head.

“No,” she says quietly. She presses her forehead into his arm. An arm wraps around her, rubbing her back lightly.

“Wanna come over tonight?” he suggests. “We can pop some popcorn. Watch  _Die Hard_  again. Maybe play some  _Battlefield_?” Danny smiles a little and sits up, nodding.

“Yeah,” she says. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

“You’re gonna be okay. I promise.”

She doesn’t remind him that the last time he promised that, the opposite happened.

 

**///**

 

“Fuck! You piece of shit!”

“God dammit Lawrence!” Kirsch groans loudly as he tosses his controller onto the cushion next to him. “I hate you,” he grumbles.

“You really don’t,” Danny reminds him with a laugh, punching his arm lightly.

“Nah, I don’t,” he agrees, smiling over at her.

“Admit it. I kick ass at shooters. Just admit it and we can put this all behind us.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay. You kick ass at shooters.” He stands up. “Let’s go make popcorn.” Danny smiles and stands up with him, tossing her controller back onto the couch.

Kirsch’s house is kind of small compared to what most of their classmates have. It’s only a two bedroom, one bath, and the kitchen is hardly functional. Kirsch’s room is the basement, which would be cool if it wasn’t also the laundry room. Winter is his least favorite, though; the furnace is incredibly loud.

Danny likes it at Kirsch’s, though. It’s cozy and his mom and little sister are welcoming enough. It’s even better when they’re gone so that Kirsch and Danny can just talk. They would never admit it, but they’re likely this close because of their heart-to-hearts at one am. Kirsch doesn’t usually push Danny to talk to him. He knows she’ll talk when she’s ready. She’s not ready quite yet. She’s at her eat-what-the-hell-she-wants-and-shoot-shit stage right now. He can wait.

After loading their popcorn with what’s a rather unhealthy amount of butter and yeast, the two head back downstairs to choose a movie. It turns out that it’s not so much of a  _Die Hard_  night, but more of a  _Jaws_  night. They’re both pretty stupid, but it’s a bonding activity for them to watch dumb movies together.

Halfway through  _Jaws 2_ , Danny looks over at Kirsch with the sad look in her eyes. He doesn’t like that look. It’s never led to anything good being said.

“We broke up,” she says quietly. Kirsch frowns.

“What? No.” Danny nods, biting her lip.

“We broke up, Kirsch. I said stupid things. She said stupid things. It’s done now.” Kirsch hugs her tightly, rubbing her back. She can’t really hold it back now and she presses her face into his shoulder, squeezing her eyes shut and letting the tears flow onto his shirt.

“Hey. Hey, shhh. It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“I don’t want to go back,” she whispers. Kirsch pulls her away from him, hands on her shoulders. He tilts her head up so she’s looking directly at him.

“You won’t go back. You’ll be okay. I promise,” he tells her. A small smile forms on Danny’s face and she nods. Kirsch hugs her again.

“Thank you,” she mumbles.

“I’m gonna take care of you, Lawrence. It’s gonna be alright.”

“Do you think I can stay tonight?” Kirsch laughs quietly.

“You think my mom would say no? You can stay,” he tells her. Her smile widens and she holds onto him even tighter. He’s her best friend for a reason.

 

**///**

 

A while later, when they finally get around to  _Die Hard_ , Danny and Kirsch look behind them at the sound of someone coming down the stairs. A small girl appears at the bottom of the steps with a huge grin on her face.

“Danny!” Danny laughs and hops over the back of the couch to pick her up.

“Hey there, Bri!” The girl squeals as Danny hugs her tightly, spinning her around. Kirsch smiles and pauses the movie and going over to the two of them.

“Guess what, Bri,” he says.

“What?” All the sadness in Danny goes away when she sees Brianne’s face light up like that.

“We won,” he tells her. “Danny scored again, too.”

“Really?!” Correction; the sadness goes when her face lights up like  _that._

“Yeah! She only missed two catches!” he tells her.

“Good job, Danny!” Danny smiles.

“Thanks, kiddo.”

“I wanna be just like you.”

“No, you don’t,” Danny says. Bri shakes her head.

“Yes, I do.”

“Nooo. You want to be just like  _you,_ ” Danny tells her, booping her nose with a finger. Bri laughs.

“Okay!” Danny sets her down and she starts back up the stairs. “Come on! Mom wants to say hi!”

 

**///**

 

Upon hearing the news of Danny and Laura’s breakup, Kirsch’s mom, Lacey, insists on Danny staying before it’s even asked.

“You need anything, you just let me know, okay?” she insists repeatedly. Danny simply smiles and nods.

Kirsch drives Danny back to her house to get a bag for the night. She has him accompany her upstairs so she doesn’t have to deal with her parents alone; she’d rather have someone to deflect the inevitable onslaught of questions from her folks.

Kirsch briefly explains that Danny is staying at his place for the night while she ducks into her room. She quickly empties a duffel bag and shoves her phone charger and clothes into it. She thinks for a moment before abandoning the half-second thought and turns off her light as she exits the room once more. She leans down to kiss her parents briefly (she ignores the thought that they’re the same height as Laura) and follows Kirsch back out to the car.

About halfway through their ride, Kirsch speaks up.

“You okay, Lawrence?” he asks. She wipes at her face in case there’s any sign of crying that she hasn’t noticed.

“Um, yeah, I’m fine.”

“You’re quiet.”

“Just thinking, I guess.”  _Thinking about Laura._

“Danny…”

“Just keep driving, please,” she says. Kirsch bites his lip, prepared to protest, but he keeps his mouth as he drives back home.

 

**///**

The set up in the basement makes it nice for Danny to stay the night. He’s lucky with his couch being a hide-a-bed, which means he’s sleeping just fifteen feet away in his bed across the room. It’s comforting to have someone else in the room. She wishes for Laura, though.

She doesn’t understand why she keeps thinking about her. The breakup was good, right? It’s a good thing for them to be apart now. Better now than later, right?

Maybe she doesn’t really want Laura. Maybe she just wants someone to hold in the middle of the night. Maybe she’s just grown so used to her tiny girlfriend being there all the time. Maybe it’s—

“Danny?” Danny jumps at Kirsch’s voice.

“Yeah?” she whispers.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m  _fine_ , Kirsch.” His face appears above her. His expression is full of worry and it makes Danny feel even worse than she’s already felt for the past twenty four hours.

“You’re crying,” he says quietly. Danny’s hand goes to her face and, yeah, there are warm tears on her cheeks. She wipes them away quickly.

“No I’m—“

“Don’t try that shit again. Come on. Sit up.” She does and he sits beside her. His arms wrap around her tightly and she immediately presses her face into his shoulder. Her hands tightly grip his shirt as she pulls him closer and she’s  _so glad_ that she’s got him.

 

**///**

 

School on Monday is miserable. Danny’s whole schedule is off now. She gets to all her classes early rather than rushing in five seconds before the bell rings, winded. She’s so used to meeting Laura and walking her to her classes that now she doesn’t know what to do with herself for four minutes.

The worst part is lunch.

As soon as she obtains her tray of what’s really just glorified prison food, Danny stops in the middle of the floor. She looks at her usual table and remembers—

She can’t sit there anymore. She can’t sit with Laura and Betty and Perry and LaFontaine and their other friends because Danny and Laura broke up. And she especially can’t sit there because Perry is comforting Laura, who looks so distraught and she wants to go and hug her and tell her it’s going to be alright but you can’t because this was her and there’s nothing she really can do to help her except stay away, which is the opposite of what she really wants to do but exactly what she needs—

Kirsch nudges her shoulder and she is quickly jerked from her thoughts as she looks over at him.

“Come on. Let’s find a spot,” he says quietly. She nods and she and Kirsch look around the caf before sitting at a table in the back corner, occupied only by a girl Danny recognizes from track last year. Elsie, that’s right. Danny remembers not disliking her, so when Elsie welcomes them to the table, Danny smiles and sits with a not awkward amount of space between them. The three eat quietly for a while before Elsie speaks up.

“How was the game Saturday?” she asks them.

“We won,” Kirsch tell her. Danny sets down her fork (can the school really call this spaghetti?) and nods.

“Kirsch only fumbled three times,” Danny teases quietly. She smiles when she feels Kirsch push at her shoulder. Elsie laughs.

“Congrats,” she says. “Sounds like you’re off to a good start for this season, yeah?”

The three spend the remainder of lunch bantering and by the time fifth period comes around, they’re all feeling rather comfortable.

 

**///**

Just as Danny starts up to her room when she gets home from practice, there’s a knock on the door. She sighs and goes to answer. She’s surprised to see Betty standing there with her bag. Danny frowns, confused.

“What’re you doing here?” she asks.

“It’s Monday. Study day, remember?” Betty frowns and tilts her head. “Or did you not want to do that anymore?”

“Oh. Um, I just thought…” Danny trails off and steps aside to let Betty into the house.

“Thought what?” Betty asks her as she comes inside.

“Well, I mean, you’re Laura’s friend and I just figured that you’d probably take her side or whatever… And you wouldn’t want to help me anymore?” Danny frowns when Betty laughs.

“Just because I’m friends with her doesn’t mean she was right. Besides, you still deserve to pass history, regardless of who you’re with.” Danny simply stares at her. “What?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just… Surprised, I guess… Um, do you want anything to eat?” she asks, shutting the door and grabbing at her arm with one hand. Betty shakes her head.

“I’ll be alright for now. We should get to studying, yeah?” Danny smiles.

“Yeah.”

 

**///**

 

Even after just five sessions, Danny and Betty have a studying system that works for them. They work on worksheets for the first hour, take a short snack break, and go into studying dates and places. Betty stays for dinner most nights but not on Fridays because she has some “family thing” those nights. Hugo and River are very welcoming when Betty is around and tell her repeatedly to let them know if she needs anything.

Most of the time, it’s pretty quiet in Danny’s room with the occasional quiet comment to correct a mistake Danny made. But this time, Danny can’t stand the quiet. She gets up and moves across the room to the stereo. She turns back to Betty, who’s watching her with a slightly confused expression.

“How do you feel about AC/DC?” Danny asks her, eyes suddenly glued on the cross on her neck. Betty smiles.

“I don’t listen to them much. But I like them?”

“Oh. Cool.” Danny smiles and presses play, smiling as she hears the opening of “Go Down”begin to play, and sits beside Betty on the bed once more.

“I don’t know this one.” Danny looks up at Betty and laughs quietly.

“You only know like, three songs, don’t you?” she asks with a grin.

“Yeah,” Betty says sheepishly. Danny laughs again.

“Spend enough time with me, you’ll start to hate AC/DC. I promise you that.” Betty smiles.

“We’ll see about that,” she says. She taps Danny’s worksheet with her pencil. “Get to work, Lawrence.”

 

**///**

 

The highlight of the week is really just Betty coming over for studying. Danny doesn’t really know why. Maybe it’s just comforting to have her over. She’s not sure, but it’s still nice.

However, it’s not too much to balance the rest of the non-highlights for the week. She still feels empty walking through the halls on her own, missing the small presence that she’s become accustomed to over the past year. She spends the nights with music blasting in her ears and probably does more sit-ups in that week than she did in pre-season. It’s hard and she hasn’t really dealt with this kind of thing before. She doesn’t want to ask Kirsch for help and she’s  _not_  asking Betty about how Laura’s doing. Laura’s probably happy and perfectly fine and she’s probably not giving two shits about Danny anymore.

She’s got to stop thinking about this. Maybe a run.

 

**///**

She’s a mile into her run (and halfway through Innuendo) when her music stops. She groans and pulls her phone from her pocket. She made sure it was charged when she left—

Kirsch is calling.

“Hello?” she sighs.

“Come over. We’re playing GTA.” Danny groans. “You need to relax. It’ll be good for you.”

“You know I have that shitty game, Kirsch. It’s a terrible portrayal of—“

“Terrible portrayal of women and full of misogyny and gross manipulation of sex workers,” Kirsch finishes blandly. “I know. You’ve told me. But you can shoot drug dealers and blow cars up. Come over now.”

Danny sighs. There’s no arguing with Kirsch on this kind of thing. Besides, misogynistic video games with lazy plots are distracting and she’ll take any distraction she can get her hands on.

She’s sitting on Kirsch’s couch playing stupid video games within a half hour. The best part is that she’s enjoying herself and she doesn’t think about Laura for hours.

 

**///**

“I’m sorry about Laura.” Danny’s head snaps up at the sudden sound of Betty’s voice. She feels a stab to her chest. She bites her lip and Betty looks concerned again. Danny wishes she wouldn’t do that.

“It’s fine,” Danny replies after a moment. She watches Betty for a second longer before looking back to her worksheet.

“Danny…”

“It’s alright. Really.”

“You haven’t talked about it with anyone,” Betty says. Danny sighs heavily and moves her stuff aside.

“I don’t need to talk about it.”

“You really should. You’re so… Sad.”

“I’m not going to talk to my ex’s friend about her, Betty.” Betty sighs, running a hand through her hair.

“Are we not friends?” she asks. Danny frowns.

“I don’t… I just…” her voice trails off. What’s she trying to say, anyway? That she doesn’t have friends? She’s got Kirsch and doesn’t need anyone else?

Betty’s hand is on Danny’s arm now. “Just because I’m Laura’s friend doesn’t mean I can’t be yours, too,” she says softly.

“Yeah, it does,” Danny replies. She can’t really look at Betty’s face right now. She knows she’ll do something she’ll regret and she can’t deal with that right now. Besides, there’s no way…

“Danny, it’s okay,” Betty whispers. Danny glances up at her. Betty is watching her intently, a worried frown on her face. Dear god.

Danny nods and clears her throat, scooting away from Betty, just a few inches. “Uh, homework,” she mumbles. Betty’s hands are on hers again.

“You need a break,” Betty declares, pulling at her hands as she stands up. “We could get a snack or something? Or maybe take a walk down to that coffee shop a couple streets over?”

“Okay. That’d be nice,” Danny says, still holding tightly to Betty’s hands to help her get to her feet.

 

**///**

At the coffee shop, it’s a quiet conversation between the two girls. The subject switches frequently, but the same tone is kept for the two hour break that Betty has decided is necessary. Danny’s just having trouble remembering a time she wasn’t here with Laura or waiting for Laura or Laura Laura Laura.

Betty knows something’s off with Danny, but she keeps that part of her mind quiet. She wants to help, and whether that means with homework or helping Danny heal after Laura, then she’ll do whatever it takes. Danny needs to feel whole again. She  _deserves_  to feel whole again.

Danny looks at her watch for the time and jumps up. Betty looks confused again.

“Shit,” Danny says. “We’ve wasted two hours oh god I’m so sorry Betty—“

“Danny, it’s  _fine_ ,” Betty tells her, trying to hold back a laugh. “I know what time it is. This isn’t just about homework, you know.”

Danny feels her pulse pick up. “What?”

“Well, you can’t exactly do homework if you’re so anxious all the time. It makes focusing much more difficult than it already is.” She stands. “Back to your place for dinner?” she asks calmly.

“Um, you want to stay?”

“Course. It’s Monday.”

Danny smiles. “Okay.”

It’s likely the least awkward dinner that the four will ever have.

 

**///**

 

Football practice is bearable now. Danny’s not quite as worried about her grades anymore. Betty still wants to study. Kirsch is doing better at catching the snap. She keeps catching the passes thrown at her. Coach isn’t pissed after the Saturday game. Everything is nice for two hours a day.

Home is alright, too. Danny’s parents have decided to give her some space, which she’s beyond grateful for, and she blasts music while she does her homework until noise ordinance kicks in at ten, when she switches to her phone until one.

Studying with Betty is nice, comfortable even, and they only talk about Laura a couple of times. Betty understands that it still hurts Danny, but she also knows that talking can do some good as well. It goes back to their quiet homework time, interrupted only when Betty tells Danny she wrote an incorrect response or when Hugo tells them that dinner’s ready. Betty really likes taco night, Danny discovers, especially because it’s not beef with the stupid spice packs that Danny learned very early on in life to despise. There’s nothing like authentic tacos and it’s nice to share them with someone who appreciates them as much, maybe even more so, as Laura.

It takes three weeks of this before Danny feels like she’ll actually be able to get better. She only runs into Laura twice in that time period, and they’re both very brief exchanges. Kirsch and Danny eat with Elsie and become good friends with her. Danny feels a little bad about not getting to know her during track last year; she’s really cool.

Danny can’t help but notice how attractive she thinks Betty, though. She feels guilty about it (Betty and Laura are friends and there is no reason she should mess with that) and finds herself telling herself to leave it alone. Betty has nothing to offer her in that way, anyway. There’s no way.

She’s very careful to keep those thoughts to herself, though. She doesn’t want Kirsch saying anything to Betty or anyone else and she doesn’t want Laura to find out, either. And she  _especially_ doesn’t want  _Betty_  to know what she’s thinking. Not right now. There’s too much going through her head and she can’t let anything slip. She  _won’t_  let anything slip.

It’s a lot of weight she’s carrying. It’s stressful. Danny hates having this feeling and she knows what it led to last time. She doesn’t want to do that again. She can’t do that again. She won’t do that again. Doesn’t want to, can’t do it, won’t do it. She repeats that to herself so much that the words begin to lose their meaning, but Danny knows what they mean, and she’ll be fine. It’s going to be okay. There’s no reason it shouldn’t be fine, really. She’s got this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by Parker (pattvwalters)  
> In A World Of Uncertainty updates on Saturday nights  
> Track #lawdorf hsau for discussion and updates on Tumblr  
> Feel free to comment and stop in my inbox if you've got any questions!


	3. you're just in time to witness my first breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Betty attempts to learn some more about herself, but she’s not quite on board with the results.

Betty isn’t sure when it was declared that she and Laura were best friends. It could have been the time in sixth grade when those eighth grade boys were picking on Laura for her size and Betty decided they’d said enough before stepping in. It could have been in fourth grade when Laura asked Betty to join the game of Four Square she was starting with Perry and LaFontaine (Lola and Susan then). Or maybe it was when Betty invited Laura to her fifth grade birthday party.

Whatever was the event that caused it, Laura and Betty have stuck together for years. It’s become different as they’ve gotten older, of course. Laura being with Danny especially messed up any sort of schedule the two could have had for the past year. Betty misses Laura. Back when things weren’t so complicated.

It’s not that things between Betty and Laura are complicated. They’ve never been complicated. It wasn’t even complicated when Laura came out to Betty. It was just another thing to add to their friendship was all. Another level, maybe.

It only seemed like a good gesture for her to offer to tutor Danny. There wasn’t anything bad that could come out of that, right?

So when Laura calls Betty one night, she doesn’t think much of it.

“Hello?” she answers.

“Betty?”

“What’s up, Hollis?” It’s quiet on the line for a moment, which is strange considering how much Laura likes to fill up any silence with her words. “Laura?”

“I broke up with Danny.” Betty sits up in an instant.

“You what?”

“We had a fight and it was all just very blurry and I broke up with her and I just…”

“Are you okay?”

“Kind of?”

“You wanna talk about it?”

The two stay on the phone for another hour before Mr. Hollis makes Laura get ready for bed.

 

**///**

 

It feels like a terrible idea, but Betty feels like someone needs to check up on Danny, so she calls her. Before Betty can regret it, Danny picks up.

“Hello?” Betty bites her lip. Danny doesn’t sound to be doing well. Betty hears her clearing her throat. “Uh, hello?”

“Uh, hey, Danny. You okay?” She flinches at her voice. Of course she isn’t okay. Why would she think she should ask that?

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” She does not sound fine. “Um, did you need something?”

“Just… I was a little worried about you.” The words fall out of Betty’s mouth before she can stop them. She groans inwardly and falls back on her bed.

“Fuck. Did you talk to Laura?” Oh god. She’s upset. Oh no. Betty squeezes her eyes shut.

“Yeah.” She bites her lip. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have called. It’s not any of my concern.”

“No, you’re fine. It’s fine.”

“You’re not.”

“Can we not right now? I just… I need some time by myself right now I think.” Danny’s voice is getting quieter. There’s a pause.

“Danny?” Betty says, her voice as soft as she can manage.

“What?” Betty pauses for a moment.

“Take care of yourself,” she says.

“Thank you.” It’s even quieter now. “I’ll see you Monday.”

“Monday.”

After Danny hangs up, Betty sighs and gets up to change.

Betty has always been specific and slow with her nighttime routine. The necklace is the first thing to go when she gets to the bathroom. She proceeds to change into her pajamas and brushes her teeth. She washes her face and cleans the area around the sink before heading back into her room. She’ll put the necklace back on in the morning. It’s not going anywhere.

 

**///**

 

Luckily, Betty manages to escape another brunch with her parents to go spend the weekend with Laura. They both need the break; Laura needs a break from thinking about Danny and Betty needs a break from brunches for a weekend.

When Betty arrives at Laura’s house, she’s met with a very tight hug from her tiny friend.

“How’re you doing?” Betty asks quietly.

“I’m okay,” Laura says. “Let’s have fun this weekend.” Betty smiles.

“I can do that.”

Laura pulls away and leads Betty up to her room. Betty drops her bag on the bed and turns back to her friend.

“What’s on the agenda today?”

“Dad’s at work today. We have free reign of the house.”

“We should definitely make that casserole for dinner. If you didn’t have anything planned already,” Betty adds quickly, slightly embarrassed at how eager she is for something so simple as Poor Man’s Casserole.

“I didn’t have anything planned,” Laura says, smiling brightly. “That sounds great. I think we’ve got everything we need, too.”

“Don’t you always?” Betty teases, nudging Laura’s arm.

“Yeah, whatever.” They laugh and Laura pulls on Betty’s arm lightly. “Come on. Maybe we’ll get some movies in this weekend.”

“God yes,” Betty says with a groan. “Can we please just go with a Harry Potter marathon this weekend? It’s been so long.” Laura giggles.

“Do you want to borrow the books again?” Laura asks. Betty shakes her head.

“I almost had a heart attack last time. Who knew Mom would try cleaning my room for once?”

“Yeah, you’re right. We’ll just stick with the movies for now.” Betty smiles and nods.

“Maybe books this summer, though.”

“We’ll try for that.”

After watching the first two Harry Potter movies, it gets to be around 1:30 and Laura decides it’s time for something to eat. Unfortunately, that something is popcorn.

“Laura, you know you’ve got to eat something.”

“This is something to eat,” Laura insists. She sighs when Betty gives her a look and starts to retreat back to the kitchen.

“Laura, hang on.” Laura turns back to her.

“What?”

“Come here.” Laura walks back to the couch cautiously. Betty takes the bowl of popcorn from her hands. “Okay. We’re good.” They laugh, Betty pops a few pieces into her mouth, and Laura goes back to the kitchen.

Laura is going to be okay, that’s for sure. The problem is that it seems she’ll be okay much sooner than Betty initially expected she would. And Danny definitely won’t be.

 

**///**

 

There’s a knock on the bedroom door and Betty doesn’t look up from her textbook. “Come in,” she calls out. She hears the door open but she still can’t be bothered to look up. She’s got a test next week and doesn’t care to lose any studying time.

“What’re you up to?” her father asks.

“Studying,” she replies, pointing to her textbook.

“Care to take a break?” She doesn’t answer this time. “Elizabeth?”

“Studying,” she repeats.

“Did you hear what I asked you?” Betty sighs and looks up, running a hand through her hair.

“I don’t have the time right now.”

“When’s that test?”

“Next Wednesday.”

“Take a break, Elizabeth.” Betty groans. “Come on. We’re going to dinner.”

“Dad, I--” She starts to argue but she’s cut off by Sebastian’s expression. She takes a breath before nodding. “Yeah. Let me get dressed.”

“Perfect. Let your mother check what you’re wearing before we leave.”

“Of course.” She fakes a smile that is immediately dropped once he leaves the room. Just one night of uninterrupted studying could have helped so much…

There’s no fighting him, though. It’s what happens in the Spielsdorf home-- dinners, charity events, whatever else comes with money, really. It’s not so much fun for Betty anymore, especially considering all she wants to do is get the hell out of this town once graduation comes around without even thinking about turning back. Soon, though. She hopes.

Still, she needs to get dressed, so Betty gives up on the studying for now and puts on the dull red dress she can’t stand but her father seems to like it so she keeps it for these sort of events. Maybe her mom will tell her to change into another one.

Of course, she doesn’t get that lucky.

 

**///**

 

It’s a boring dinner, as per usual. Some businessman her father is trying to impress. The food’s good, but there’s no conversation that Betty cares for. She zones out for a majority of the meal. She’s only addressed once or twice, usually someone asking about school and colleges. She bites her tongue to keep from commenting on the fact that she should definitely be studying right now rather than sitting here with people she couldn’t care any less about and simply smiles and replies nicely about how, yes, her grades are good, no, she doesn’t need to apply for anything for another year, et cetera. It’s dull and unimportant in her head, so she tunes it out.

Back in her room, Betty immediately changes into her sweats for the night, not caring enough for actual pajamas, and flops facedown onto the bed. It’s too late for effective studying now so she can only go to bed or talk to someone. She wants to choose the second option because, really, who goes to bed before ten-thirty on a weekend? But she realizes she should probably leave Laura and Danny alone. LaF and Perry are likely hanging out again. Natalie doesn’t really like her.

        And she realizes then that she doesn’t really know many people. Her friend choices are limited to those at the lunch table and a slight comradery with her lab partner, Carmilla. It’s kind of pathetic, really. What kind of teenager is limited to less than five reliable contacts?

        But whatever. It’s nothing. No big deal.

        Maybe she will go to bed early tonight.

 

**///**

 

Betty’s slightly disappointed when she doesn’t see Danny and Kirsch at their lunch table on Monday. It’s understandable, of course. Laura and Danny are broken up now. Danny sitting at the table would be awkward. Betty does find Danny sitting in the back corner of the cafeteria, though. Danny doesn’t see her, but she sees Danny sitting with Kirsch and a girl she sort of halfway recognizes. She has no idea what her name is, but she’s seen her before. That much is for sure.

But Betty can’t help but be at least a little bit happy that Danny seems to be doing okay, considering everything that’s happened in the past week. It’s a good thing that she’s going about her life. It will be good for her.

Betty is rather surprised at Danny’s reaction when she shows up for their tutoring session later, though.

“What’re you doing here?” Betty starts kicking herself the moment she hears Danny. She can’t let that show, of course. No, she’s not going to be an open book. She can say anything she needs to get out without worrying about Danny’s reaction.

“It’s Monday. Study day, remember?” she replies, nonchalant. She doesn’t allow her mask to break as she continues and tilts her head to the side. “Or did you not want to do that anymore?” The possibility is almost heartbreaking to Betty, though she can’t see why it would be.

“Oh. Um, I just thought…” Oh, fuck. She doesn’t want to anymore. No, she’s fine. She’s alright with that possibility. She just needs to be absolutely sure. That’s all. But Danny’s letting her inside. That’s good. Maybe she wants her to stay. That’d be good.

“Thought what?” she asks. She can’t get her hopes up. What? Get her hopes up? About studying?

“Well, I mean, you’re Laura’s friend and I just figured that you’d probably take her side or whatever… And you wouldn’t want to help me anymore?” Danny looks almost confused by her own words and Betty laughs. It’s likely the most relieved and delighted she’s ever been in this house. But Danny’s staring at her now and she has to stop herself quickly.

“Just because I’m friends with her doesn’t mean she was right. Besides, you still deserve to pass history, regardless of who you’re with.” Danny somehow looks even more confused as she looks at Betty now. “What?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just… Surprised, I guess… Um, do you want anything to eat?” Danny asks. Betty smiles and shakes her head and Danny closes the door, leading her further into the house. Thank God.

“I’ll be alright for now. We should get to studying, yeah?” She smiles brightly as Danny adds her own smile to the mix.

“Yeah,” Danny answers.

“Perfect. Because I actually found a couple of little study tools that could possibly help you this weekend--” Danny cuts her off as they head up the stairs.

“What the hell kind of weekend is that? You didn’t have to do that.”

“That’s not the point. The point is that I’m more than happy to help. It’s practically a weekend for me to just be here helping you study for a few hours.”

“That’s pathetic.”

“That’s life.”

“You’re a nerd, Spielsdorf.”

“Coming from you, Spider-Man Door Poster,” Betty teases. “How old were you when you got that? Seven?”

“Nine! You’re being totally unfair!” Danny is practically pouting and it’s actually kind of cute why is that cute and Betty’s led into Danny’s room and settles herself on what has been designated her portion of the bed.

“I beg to differ,” Betty says with a smirk as she pulls out her books.

“Just get to work,” Danny says, groaning.

“For once, you actually want to work. Congrats. You’re making excellent progress.” Betty smiles, rather proud of her response. This is easy. This is fun. This is by far the best way she could have ever chosen to spend three nights a week.

 

**///**

When Betty gets home from Danny’s on Friday night, she immediately feels a sense of panic creeping up on her. She quickly tells her mother that, no, she won’t be eating dinner tonight, she’s not feeling well and needs to just go to bed early, good night, and bolts up to her room. She drops her things on the bed and changes quickly in the bathroom. She’s fine. She’s fine she’s fine she’s fine. There’s nothing wrong--

But something is definitely wrong. Maybe not necessarily wrong, but it’s something different that she’s not so used to experiencing. She’s not meant to be experiencing these things. This is not her. She is Elizabeth Anne Spielsdorf and she is always sure of everything and she’s so sure of herself and she knows who she is and she just knows and to not know is not who she is so why the fuck is she freaking out what’s wrong with her--

And why can’t she even think in a complete, grammatically correct, not-a-run-on sentence? If she can’t do such a simple thing like that, then how is she to even confront herself in just her thoughts? She’s always so certain of herself and suddenly that’s at risk and it’s terrifying.

She looks up at the face in the mirror and it’s just not her. The girl looking back looks exactly like her, yes. She’s got the same eyes and the same nose and the same hairline and the same teeth that had to be tortured by metal braces for three years to look this way and she knows that it’s her but it’s still not her.

She takes a ragged breath, and another, and another and another, doing what she can to remain calm. She’s interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing from her coat on the bed and she stands up straight, making a conscious effort to look alright despite the fact that her physical appearance won’t matter on the phone. She searches the pockets for a moment before picking up, taking a breath and putting on a smile.

“Hey, Laura. What’s up?”

 

**///**

After telling Laura that, no, she doesn’t feel up to going out tonight and, yes, she’ll be available this weekend, Betty hangs up the phone. She goes back to the bathroom and quickly brushes her teeth, doing her best to avoid looking in the mirror because she’s certain that would just make her start to break down again. She doesn’t spend even a full minute this time, which is rather uncharacteristic for her, but she doesn’t want to be in there longer than she already has been tonight. She turns off the lights and crawls into bed and ends up staring at the ceiling. Maybe now she can start to organize her thoughts.

If she can figure out where to even start.

First of all, there’s definitely something strange going on in her head. But she’s not broken. She can’t really be broken. She knows that it’s not wrong to be… whatever she is. But she can’t figure that out until she knows what’s happening in her head when she thinks about Danny. Which leads to thinking about Danny.

Betty really doesn’t know what she thinks about Danny. Well, she likes Danny, sure. She likes Danny the way she likes Laura and Perry and, sometimes, Kirsch. Danny is kind and entertaining and actually really smart when she buckles down. And cute. That too.

A groan escapes Betty’s mouth and she pulls a pillow over her face. She does not want to think about this right now. She knows she has to, though. Just not right now. No, nope, she can delay this a little while longer. And with a decisive turn onto her side, she settles into the bed to sleep.

Unfortunately, that isn’t how sleep works. And Betty can’t sleep until her brain shuts off.

She rolls onto her back once more and stares at the ceiling with a deep sigh. Okay. So she thinks Danny’s cute. But that’s normal. She thinks Laura’s cute but she’s not attracted to her. She knows that Kirsch is attractive but there’s no way she’s actually attracted to him. So what’s got her stuck on Danny anyway?

Betty rolls over to grab her phone from the nightstand and pulls it from its charger.

Betty (11:38 pm) Do you think we could talk tomorrow?

She gets a reply much faster than she’d anticipated.

Laura (11:41 pm) Of course!! Do you want me to come over?

Betty (11:41 pm) Can we do it at your house?

Laura (11:43 pm) Sure thing.. Is something wrong??

Betty (11:44 pm) I’ll tell you tomorrow. I’m fine, I promise.

Betty (11:44 pm) Go to sleep. Isn’t it past your bedtime? ;)

Laura (11:45 pm) Ha ha hilarious :P I’ll talk to you tomorrow.

It’s going to be just fine. She’ll talk to Laura tomorrow and everything will be just fine. She just happens to maybe possibly be gay. No big deal.

Except that it’s kind of a big deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by Parker (pattvwalters)  
> Track #lawdorf hsau for discussion and updates on Tumblr  
> Feel free to comment and stop in my inbox if you've got any questions!


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